While a retail storeowner should have the attitude that he or she will take care of every customer, there are customer who you can't satisfy. Sometimes, there’s nothing you can do for them, and it’s your job as manager or owner to determine where that line is, and when to cut them off.

Let's slow down a bit. Even good customers have issues and complaints that they need help to correct. And they're good customers, so you obviously want to keep them around. Conveniently enough, the skills you use to diffuse an upset customer are a pretty good tool for screening who is "good" or "bad," so it's good that you know how to deal with this situation, why you should bother, and how you can lead your staff toward that proper mind-set of service in your absence.

When an unsatisfied customer comes through your door with a problem -- regardless of whether they're fuming, shouting or suspiciously polite -- you've got to diffuse the situation while moving it toward a workable solution you both can live with. The first step is to let the customer do the talking. "You need to tune in, from the core of your being, into that person's frustration," says communications coach and speaker Linda Larsen. "Connect. Look them straight in the eye, listen and nod."

That core-of-your-being part may seem a little hokey, but it's an important part. When you genuinely want to help, your nonverbal communication will show them that you really want to hear what they have to say. Restate what you're hearing in your own words -- a skill called "confirmation" -- to ensure that you're both on the same page about what's gone wrong.

Next, empathize with them. Say something that acknowledges you "get it." In some sincere, authentic way, let them know that you understand why they're that frustrated. Apologize. Use humor if it's appropriate and you can pull it off. More importantly, avoid taking the complaint personally, even if the customer blames you specifically, and don't make the mistake of saying something like, "It's not that bad," or "It's nothing to be that upset about," or "Well, if you'll just calm down," Larsen says. That's a sure-fire way to get unhappy customers even more upset than they already are.

Larsen's favorite expression of empathy came when a store employee said, "Wow, I can certainly understand your frustration -- I'm surprised you're not more upset than you are." That was the single most brilliant customer-service statement she's ever heard.

Lastly, get solution-oriented by asking what you can do to make the problem better. "You've got to be able to say to a customer -- any customer -- 'what do we need to do to make this situation right for you?'" says Art Freedman of Retail in Motion, a retail sales consulting company. "You've always got to allow the customer to tell you what needs to be done to make it right."

That means you shouldn't assume you know what the customer wants. When you do, you end up thinking you need to do one thing, and the customer thinks you should do something else. And now that you know, all you've got to do is make it right.

Appreciate the Complaint

Right. So, if you need a little motivation to feel that sense of service, consider this: "Only 10 percent of the people who hate your guts will let you know, so you better learn from that 10 percent," Freedman says. "The other 90 percent that hate your guts you'll never see again in your store."

In other words, if they take the complaint to you, they're doing you a service. Without that complaint, you'd continue doing business without knowing that something you're doing, or selling, or fixing, is wrong.

"That's a problem, because you don't have any way to fix it," Larsen says. "You should take every complaint that comes through the door and say, even if it's to yourself, 'wow, thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. I will fix this right now. I had no idea this was happening.'" Use that insight as learning experience.

There's another upside. Freedman suggests that there are three kinds of customers. The first group is the advocates, who love you to death and tell everybody in the world what a great job you do. The second group is the adversaries, who hate your guts and couldn't care less if your business shut down. The third, and by far the biggest, is the "ho-hums," the middle-of-the road customers who can be swayed at any time. "If a customer is adversarial, and you can solve their problem, and you can help them, and you get them on the right track -- whatever that means to you -- they will become an advocate for your business," Freedman says.

But there's a downside, too. If you don't handle that right, now you've got two problems: a customer who's upset, and a customer who's doubly upset because you couldn't solve his problem. And we've all heard that an unhappy customer will tell at least 10 other people. "When a customer leaves your store because they're unhappy, it doesn't mean that they stop becoming a customer, it means they stop becoming your customer," Freedman says.

So, then, you, as the owner or manager, have a vested stake in this problem being corrected as painlessly as possible. "Customers make decisions based on who they can trust," Freedman says. "The way they define trust is they say, 'Well, when I have a problem, the store will always take care of me.'" But here's how you break that trust: Don't train your staff about how important it is to have each customer come back. Something as simple as a $30 return could cost you a lifetime customer. More often than not, your employee will think he's done you a favor by turning that customer away. To beat this knee-jerk reaction, Freedman recommends a new-employee training program that puts that person with a manager or owner to learn your store's philosophy of customer service. In fact, that new employee shouldn't even get to talk to a customer until they understand how important that customer is.

And how important are they? Figure out what your average customer spends. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that if you take that average customer and you lose him as a customer how much you've lost," Freedman says. Then, if he tells other people how bad you are and he gets half of those not to come in, and they're just your average customers, you've lost all of that, too." After he's trained, let the employee shadow you, or be a fly on the wall when you solve a real customer issue. Let him know that this kind of problem solving is what you'd like him to be able to perform. Put him with a more experienced mentor. This is that important.

The point is to train your employees well enough that they can be empowered to take care of customers, which often means permitting returns without a manager's approval. Returns account for about 70 percent of the complaint letters Freedman has had to deal with, so he suggests allowing employees to make decisions up to a certain dollar amount. That gives them permission and authority to make customers feel good about shopping with you. "And when they do it, thank them for it," Freedman says. "Don't be in their face or mad at them for it."

This empowerment is important because customers don't like problems to go uphill -- they don't want your sales guy to have to ask a manager, especially if the manager is off at the bank, or at the pool, or working with another customer. All they want is to fix the problem and move on. If you're worried about your people taking advantage of you, train them properly, and require them to tell a manager how they handled a complaint as soon as possible once it's done, so you'll have no surprises. "Yes, you might lose a little bit on a customer on a given day, but by being able to take care of that customer today, even if it costs you money, is going to give you the opportunity to get them back into your shop and make money off of them again, and be able to get their friends, their buddies, their acquaintances back in there and make money on them, as well," Freedman says.

Now, On to the Problem Customers

So, that's the strategy for dealing with a good customer who's got an issue that needs resolving. The tables turn somewhat when it's not a "good" customer at all -- when it's someone who comes into your store to yell at employees, to demand a make-good that exceeds the value of whatever he purchased in the first place, or to take advantage of your customer-is-always-right attitude. In fact, just about every retail store has to deal with a difficult customer eventually. In that case, you have to determine if they're being unreasonable, whether they're worth the trouble, and how you'll deal with the consequences when they're not.

Really, "difficult" is in the eye of the beholder, and you, and only you, as owner or manager, can draw the line as to when a customer becomes an unnecessary burden. For example, telecommunications company Sprint fired a thousand or so of its customers last year because they called the company's help line too many times -- that is, about once per day. And a couple of years ago, electronics retailer Best Buy® allegedly created a black list of customers who returned too many items, or returned items after applying for rebates, or who purchased deeply discounted loss-leaders then sold the products on eBay. Both determined that the costs of serving each customer were greater than any profit they made off them. Each also caught flack for making those controversial decisions. You've been warned.

The best way to figure out where your point of no return is, is to consider what's best for your business as a whole, which generally involves keeping every customer and just gritting your teeth. Yet, that doesn't mean you can't make one or two exceptions as necessary.

"When you've got an attitude of, 'What do we have to do to make this right for you?' you just don't have a lot of jerks," Freedman says. That's a good thing, because determining the value of a particular customer can be much more difficult from figuring that "average Joe" shopper.

In other words, a difficult customer who only buys a slate this month or a mask strap next month may buy a BC and regulator two months from now. As a result, the customer who looks like a waste of time now may turn into a much more valuable one down the road -- if they stick around long enough.

"You just never know who you're affecting, and how you're affecting them," Freedman says. "If they have an issue that needs to be resolved, I expect employees in the store to resolve it with the same integrity and the same thought process that we'd use for a customer who spends $20,000 or one that spends $100 a year."

The only exception is the jerk. That's because these blatantly "unfair" customers take advantage of being "always right," and, by doing so, they cause harm to your mental health, harm to your employees' service attitude, and harm to your good customers, who must pay more to compensate for the whiners, gripers and schemers. Remember the suggestion that you should raise prices to cover your make-good margins? Now you're punishing everyone. Same goes if you make it harder to do returns.

Leonard Berry, the M.B. Zale Chair in Retailing and Marketing Leadership at the Mays Business School at Texas A&M University, suggests three criteria to determine if a customer is unfair. Judge the severity of the harm the customer causes. Those cases where "it's not a big deal" can be forgiven, but if it's a behavior that you'd call "moderate" or "extreme," you've got yourself a problem. Also, evaluate how frequently the customer misbehaves. Again, if it's "moderately" or "intermittently," that's probably worth an unfairness label, too. Then think about whether the customer is taking advantage of you on purpose -- or even is inflicting harm on your business for whatever reason.

If the customer pegs a high score on the unfairness meter, it's probably time to reconsider how badly you need to serve them in the first place. "That's the kind of client you'd fire, that's the kind of client you need to let go of," Larsen says.

Firing a customer is surprisingly easy. Stop and take a deep breath, and stay calm and professional. Pull the trigger in a firm, respectful way. It's a four-step process, Larsen says. "LOCS." Listen to their nine-millionth complaint patiently. Next, state your objective -- to serve your customer and make them happy -- and communicate your inability to satisfy their needs. Then suggest that they might find more satisfaction at another business.

The script for this conversation ends up looking something like this: Mr. Smith, as the owner here, I have one objective, and that is to provide the best possible service and products to all of our customers. We want to make you a happy customer. After repeated tries, it's clear that we are unable to do that for you. Consequently, I respectfully request that you try several of the other very good dive stores in town who might be able to better serve your needs.

When they argue, repeat that statement. "They can only scream and yell for so long. When they're not getting resistance back, they stop," Larsen says. And, next thing you know, they're gone.

Obviously, you don't fire a customer right after the first conflict -- unless he violates the Golden No-abuse Rule. Normally, you'd try everything, until nothing -- nothing -- works, and you just can't meet his demands.

Only top-level managers and owners get to fire a customer. Only these people have the big-picture appreciation of -- and a stake in -- the store's "brand," or the understanding of what losing one customer can do to it.

That's why he's so adamant about allowing frontline employees to solve problems quickly. If they can't say "yes" to a customer to resolve a problem, they shouldn't be able to say "no." "When you tell a customer 'no' on a refund, or when you let them leave the store unhappy, you've basically fired them as a customer," Freedman says. Just so you know.

That's a bad place to be, Freedman says. That customer, once he's moved on, is going to tell everyone that you're a jerk. "Before I chase that guy out of the store, there'd better be a really good reason," Freedman says. "Once you chase him away, you already know that guy is going to tell 10 people and it's going to have a negative impact on your store. You've made a decision that you don't care."

The best you can hope for is that a disagreeable customer is like that with everybody. If that's the case, their complaint may not carry much weight with their friends, neighbors and family. They're just as likely to understand exactly why you did it. But that's a big gamble.

As long as you understand there's a downside, which means the firing was a strategic decision that was good for the business, and not an emotional one, you've made a decision that the downside is OK, or, at least it's a fair trade for the headache and heartache that repeated conflicts with a bad customer are causing you. It's probably only happened to him five times in the last 18 years, Freedman says.

No, You Can't Please Them All

While a retail storeowner should have the attitude that he or she will take care of every customer, Freedman says he's not stupid enough to think there aren't a handful of idiots out there ruining it for everyone. Sometimes, there's nothing you can do for them, and it's your job as manager or owner to determine where that line is, and when to cut them off. That's not an easy decision, and it's not made lightly. But when it comes to firing bad customers, you may find you have a better business when you do.

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